he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
