hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
