wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
