There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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