I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
