All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
