Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
