Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm passing your future prison.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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