Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
