I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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