Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
