Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Randomize
