I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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