My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
