foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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