He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize