so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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