Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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