playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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