chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
