He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
