I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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