i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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