If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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