covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We left the knife in your bed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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