you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
