I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
