it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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