She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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