your parents love me but you hate me
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
