Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
