Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
