Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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