i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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