i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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