She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Someone came in the potted fern
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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