he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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