Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize