I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
