My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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