The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
