The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
