I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
