found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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