Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
