I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize