hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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