Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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