You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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