i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
