maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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