I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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