he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
