I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
