i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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