distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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