Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize