She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
only you would photoshop your dick
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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