How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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