I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
