New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I AM VODKA MAN
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
