Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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