How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
