oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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