If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
When did angry sex become our thing?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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